On a sunny afternoon this week, I came across a lawn full of 'glory of the snow' flowers on Main Street. I am seeing them everywhere now, isn't that funny? These flowers were a small, beautiful thing in the midst of a really difficult week.  

 

It's grey and raining out today so I baked some cookies to warm up the house. Chocolate chip with pecans. A couple of days ago our heating system stopped working. We've had the repairman here twice already, and he's coming back on Monday. 

When I'm feeling down, I do impulsive things like adopt new pets. We got two guinea pig babies yesterday. The one at top left is Honey and the one at bottom right is Blossom. This is just a temporary cage for them. I'm going to look for a nice piece of old furniture at the flea market in the next couple of weeks and convert it into a permanent home similar to this one.

Blossom has a smooth, glossy, short coat and black eyes. Honey's coat is a little longer and her eyes are pink. When Luke holds them he bubbles over with joy. The piggies are adorable.

I stumbled upon this quote a few weeks ago: "It is to our own detriment that we underestimate the might of small and simple things." ~Richelle E. Goodrich.  Yes. And, I can tell you that in my life, there really is nothing else. 

  

It's all a confusing mix of sunshine and rain in my life right now, but these things are holding me together:

• flowers everywhere
• soft brown rabbits (indoors and out)
• the daily routine of lessons, housework, and meals
• reading thrilling stories when I can't sleep
• walks in the woods
• noticing all of the yellows, greens, and pinks in the spring landscape
• blogs that show me something real about a person's life: your cat, the dress you are making, your kitchen workspace, the happy day you had house hunting, the delicious cake you served at your book club 
• hanging out with my kids
• singing along loudly to old Beatles' songs
• laughter
• going through my yarn stash and finding beautiful sock yarn in a perfect forget-me-not blue
• watching seeds sprout in the garden 
• this cake

"I thought you said it was spring." 

Yesterday was mild and rainy; today there is snow on the ground. This is spring in New England, my dear Puggins. Despite the fickle weather, everything is right on schedule. The radishes are up, the chickens are laying jumbo eggs, and the trees are ready to burst forth in blossom any day now.

This week, I haven't had much time for knitting due to doctors' appointments and other matters, but the last few days have renewed my hope in so many things. I still have more answers than questions, but I am encouraged and very optimistic about the future. Perhaps I will have some good news to share with you soon.

My son has been bravely hobbling along on his sore knee all semester. There is a "loose body" in it--probably a piece of bone from an old injury--about the size of a grape that needs to be surgically removed as soon as school is out. I've been driving him to class so he doesn't have to walk the huge distance from the parking lot to the hall. The college is far enough away from home that it makes sense for me to hang out at the library in town while he's in class. This is a new-to-me library, and I have had great fun exploring it. I found these wonderful books about Leo Tolstoy's wife--a very engaging biography by Lady Cynthia Asquith and Sofya Tolstoy's personal diaries. I do love diaries. You can learn so much about a person by what they choose to record. I keep one myself--a paper record of the past day's events, my thoughts, quotes and snippets about things I've read, seen, or heard. It is a rare day that I don't write in it. Do you keep a diary?

 As violets so be I recluse and sweet,
     Cheerful as daisies unaccounted rare,
Still sunward-gazing from a lowly seat,
     Still sweetening wintry air.

While half-awakened Spring lags incomplete,
     While lofty forest trees tower bleak and bare,
Daisies and violets own remotest heat
     And bloom and make them fair. 

 ~Christina Rosetti, "Who Hath Despised The Day of Small Things?"

One of my favorite things is going to the nursery and bringing home my whole spring garden in one little box: broccoli, Swiss chard, Romaine and Boston lettuces, spinach, pansies and violets (for pretty), and seeds for beets, radish, carrots, and peas. Is there anything more fun than digging in the dirt or squirting a hose? Tonight I've covered my three small raised beds with fitted bed sheets to protect my delicate little seedlings from frost--I'm not taking any chances.

I finished the yoke of my cardi yesterday and am now working on the body. Two things keep frustrating me: knots in my yarn--I've never seen so many in one skein; and my Knit Picks circular needles keep breaking. Other than the knots, I really like the yarn. It knits up into a beautiful, smooshy fabric, with a soft, lovely halo. But the needles are another thing. When you have 420 itty bitty sock weight stitches on your cable and the cable detaches itself from its metal fitting . . . or the needle pops out of its metal fitting (yes, both have happened), well, it's not fun. I'm going to begin looking into other circular needle options. I would love a set of DyakCraft needles, but, gosh, they are expensive.

Black cats are very nice. Everyone should have a cat as sweet as Indiana Jones.

(I have brownies in the oven, and they smell heavenly!) 

And, now, because it is Sunday, a little C.S. Lewis:

"My own idea, for what it is worth, is that all sadness which is not either arising from the repentance of a concrete sin and hastening towards concrete amendment or restitution, or else arising from pity and hastening to active assistance, is simply bad; and I think we all sin by needlessly disobeying the apostolic injunction to 'rejoice' as much as by anything else. Humility, after the first shock, is a cheerful virtue: it is the high-minded unbeliever, desperately trying in the teeth of repeated disillusions to retain his 'faith in human nature', who is really sad."
           from The Problem of Pain

My hens have started laying again; the crocuses are up in my neighbor's yard; the robins are back; and my parakeets are thoroughly twitterpated--spring is coming! I am really looking forward to warmer days, flowers, and green growing things.

I've been reading War and Peace (I should finish it this week or next), knitting socks, going to Mass three days a week, walking in the sunshine, getting to bed earlier and doing all that I can to take care of myself and restore my health. Some days I feel pretty good, other days not so well, but the thing is to be glad for both kinds of days. "We're at large, but God's in charge." (Platon Karatayev in War and Peace).

Just when I was wishing that I could listen to this song all day long, it became the first 24hr music video. : )

My little nook is even cozier since Lynda sent me this beautiful lap blanket she crocheted. Lynda lives in Australia by a river. I love the tagline on her blog: "Live simply, expect little, give much. Live your life with love..."  She certainly does that; I am blessed by her generous spirit . ♥

Even though it's cold and there is snow in the forecast, the lengthening daylight has me dreaming of spring. I have the urge to get outside in the winter sunshine and romp around with my pug. And, I'm beginning to think obsessively about my garden. I want to add another raised bed for veggies, grow my tomatoes in pots on the deck, find a way to maximize my growing space and plant more greens. To that end, I'm sketching and diagramming and researching which plants are good companions. My all-time favorite backyard gardening book is now out-of-print: The Postage Stamp Garden Book: Grow Tons of Vegetables in Small Spaces, by Duane and Karen Newcomb However, the authors maintain a very helpful website that has a lot of the same information that is in the book, including: planning your garden, preparing your soil, watering, container gardening, themed gardens, troubleshooting, dealing with plant diseases, seed sources, and lots of other good stuff. 

My Christmas cactus is still blossoming and developing new buds--a wondrous event, considering that it hasn't bloomed for nine years!

I had to drive up to Derry, New Hampshire today to pick up animal feed and bedding, and I discovered a new yarn shop in town! I loved everything about the place, from the impressive selection to the warm and friendly staff. I couldn't resist leaving with a hank of Cherry Tree Hill supersock DK yarn in the Cherry Blossom colorway (which they kindly wound into a ball for me). It's going to make a really pretty pair of extra-cozy socks.  

I don't watch a lot of t.v., but my daughters and I are enjoying the gentle new Hallmark series "When Calls the Heart". We plan on watching a couple of episodes tonight On Demand. With new yarn in my basket and a big stack of books yet to read, I find myself grateful for our long New England winter. More snow on the way Thursday!

I wanted my home to be a place where my family can create, learn, and play, a space filled with comfort and light. Over the years I've poured over magazines and books, looking for inspiration, but I wasn't looking for what's in style or what other people like. I was searching for an atmosphere that embodied my idea of home (which to my mind is the most magical of words). About fifteen years ago I found it in a series of picture books by 19th century Swedish painter Carl Larsson:

 

  

This is what I wanted--not a style or decor--an atmosphere where things can grow and reach towards the light. 

In a comment on my last post, my dear friend Sarah expressed interest in how I equate hope with optimism. I began a reply and ended up writing a post.

For a long, long time, I lived my life waiting for my circumstances to change. The single word that ruled my existence was if.  If this were different, then I could be _______ (happy, productive, a better wife, mother, daughter, friend, etc.) That was my hope.

But that if is a lie. The only thing standing in the way of my being everything I was created to be is my own sin: self-pity, laziness, procrastination, perfectionism, pride, neglect of prayer and worship (including church attendance), poor stewardship of gifts (time, money, talent), lack of discipline, ingratitude—a whole awful, ugly, negative list. It is no wonder that my outlook was gloomy!

"And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." (1 Cor. 13:13). 

St. Paul explained that these three virtues provide a "more excellent way" to live and sum up what it means to be a Christian. While faith, hope, and love work together harmoniously, they have distinct qualities.

The difference between faith and hope is:

-Faith believes that God can do...

-Hope believes that God will do...

It is one thing for us to have faith that God can meet our every need.

It is another thing to believe that He will!

Without hope there is despair. Without faith there is nothing in which to hope.

Why is love greater than faith or hope? It is the only one that will last forever:

-Faith will not last for it is "the evidence of things unseen" (Heb.11:1). When we get to heaven our faith will be turned to sight!

-Hope is confident expectation, but when we are with the Lord all our hopes will be realized!

-The only one that will continue on is love…we will love the Lord throughout all eternity!  (from the late Rev. Don Robinson's excellent sermon notes).

It is through accepting God's Word and walking is His way (the way of faith, hope, and love) that we know peace and joy and are equipped to love others.

"Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." (Rom. 15:13)

Through prayer, I am acquiring true hope. My circumstances haven't changed at all, yet hope sees everything in a brand new, optimistic light. ♥  

Another word for optimism is hope: the belief that something good will happen.

I am learning that prayer is what fuels optimism. By prayer, I mean frequent conversation with God. Last fall I read The Way of A Pilgrim, the Russian classic about unceasing prayer. During that time, God made me aware that I spent more time on the internet than I did talking to Him. That led to a month of repentance and re-focusing my heart on Him--making a habit of conversing frequently with God for a good portion of every day. (It is an easy habit to form, because God helps you.)

I didn't realize it at the time, but that was the first and most important step in my desire to become an optimist. A woman of Hope. ♥

All of the comments on my last post gave me loads of encouragement--thank you so much for your good, kind thoughts! My first lesson in becoming an optimist is to wake up each morning and decide that no matter what happens it is going to be a good day, one in which I will accomplish all that I set out to do: pray, write in my journal, complete lesson work with Luke, Em, and Amy; keep the laundry going, write at least one page of my manuscript, work on my knitting, and attend to my usual household tasks (meals, shopping, pet care, etc.). So far, I am having a really great week. I feel good and I am still smiling. : ) I will admit that there have been a few times when I have had to remind my kids that I am an optimist now, and therefore will not be tempted into negativity. And, Zachary has taken to calling me Optimus Prime, which is rather hilarious. But, the wondrous thing is how much more productive I am with a positive outlook--I really do feel a bit like a superhero.

I am about half finished knitting the first sleeve of the Zest cardigan. It looks a little weird, a little oddly shaped., a bit too short (I'll need to add some extra rounds), but I know that I followed the pattern directions correctly, so I am going to be optimistic about how it will all turn out. In fact, I expect it will be beautiful. 

I have fifteen rows left to knit on Clue #1 of Ysolda's Mystery Knit Along. I have to say that it is really fun! I've decided to begin with option B for the first clue and am loving the results. Usually when I start a new project, I find myself second guessing the yarn/color I have chosen, but this time I am very happy with my selection--the color looks just like sun-dappled meadow grass, and I think it will be totally wearable and go with almost anything it's paired with: navy, yellow, red, purple, blue, . . .

At the moment, I am not reading anything but am waiting for a few books I've placed on hold at the library: Under The Wide And Starry Sky, by Nancy Horan, I Shall Be Near To You, by Erin Lindsay Mccabe, and The Vanishing, by Wendy K. Webb. I wonder which one will arrive first.

What are you knitting and reading this week?

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."  --Helen Keller

"Be glad. Be good. Be brave." Eleanor Hodgman Porter (author of Pollyanna)

This is the year I am going to learn to be an optimist. : )