Friends

A friend is someone who walks with you.

Loyal, humble, straightforward, fun-loving, generous, forgiving--these are the qualities I value in a friend--which is why the majority of  my friends are children and dogs.

The average adult friendship lasts less than seven years (which is roughly the same as the average marriage).

Adult friendships in the United States are on the decline.. A study published in The American Sociological Review showed that 25% of Americans have no close personal friends. Currently, 80% of Americans depend exclusively on family for support (up from 57% since 1985).

I keep my heart open to meeting new adult friends. But, I am coming to understand that my view of friendship may be quite different from others. This, apparently, may have something to do with my ethnic background (German and Russian) and my upbringing.

I expect my friends to stay friends.

There is one--just one--who always has, and I know how lucky I am. We met each other through a crack in our backyard fences when I was two and she was four. We grew up closer than sisters, sharing laughter, secrets, fun, and our sorrows and problems. She introduced me to my husband.  I was in her wedding and she was in mine. Even after I moved 350 miles away our friendship remained strong. We talk to each other on the phone a couple of times a week and visit whenever we can. We've been friends for over forty years.

That's what true friendship looks like. It stands the test of time.

I have observed a phenomenon in our culture that I consider a new religion. Although it is not organized, it is the underlying belief system of millions of people. I call it the "cult of me"  People will not "put up with" anything from anyone anymore, while at the same time expecting others to put up with a whole lot from themselves. It's the complete opposite of the Golden Rule (which is the ethical basis of nearly every world religion).